This weekend I competed in the US NATIONAL WEIGHTLIFTING CHAMPIONSHIPS 2014 in Salt Lake City, Utah. I opened at 88kg/194lbs (1kg less than my competition PR, but a lift I consistently make in practice, and only 2kg more than my last successful warm up) and missed all three attempts, alongside my friend and competitor Samantha Poeth. In the Clean & Jerk I was determined to go back out there and win a medal, but on my warm up attempt at 110kg I feared it was not to be as I started to feel the effects of having lost 1.5kg/3.3 lbs in the prior 24 hours. I did manage to make my opener at 114kg/251lbs (which is the heaviest opener I've ever attempted), but was unsuccessful on the jerk of both subsequent attempts at 117kg/257lbs. I did manage to place 4th in the clean & jerk, but overall it wasn't at all what I had hoped for the competition, nor was it reflective of the progress I've been making in training.
Below is the text of a blog post I wrote for our gym, Arena Ready, about the experience, my takeaways, and my outlook on my future as a weightlifter.
The credit belongs to the athlete in the arena who strives valiantly, dares greatly and knows both victory and defeat.
We named Arena Ready as a tribute to Theodore Roosevelt's famous quote from "Citizenship in a Republic," which is meaningful to us for various reasons, not the least of which that we believe it's true.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
There is no such thing as the easy path. I know that as well as anyone, and while I would like to say this weekend didn't go as planned, that would sort of be a lie. While I've worked really hard, tried my best, overcome some serious obstacles, and maintained faith in my abilities, a big part of me didn't think I was good enough to reach my goals this weekend, and my doubt defeated my hope.
Sure, I could have (and in hindsight, perhaps should have) played it safe, gone for conservative lifts and a medal, maintained a higher bodyweight, and in general been more cautious, but that wouldn't have been true to what I was trying to accomplish.
I wanted to post a total high enough to qualify for the World Team. Unfortunately, while my body might be ready for that (in training I've snatched 92kg/203lbs, cleaned 125kg/275lbs, and jerked 128kg/282 lbs), my mind isn't quite yet. There is a big part of me that doesn't believe I'm there - I'm a little scared I'm still hurt, or that I'll get hurt again, I'm in tremendous awe of the women I compete against, and it hasn't quite sunk in yet that I'm also capable of some of the incredible things they can do.
As it turns out, and as we've known all along, weightlifting is just as mental as it is physical, and although I've been lifting weights, and even competing in weightlifting, for a sort of long time now, my new goals have me feeling like a rookie again when it comes to the psychological aspects of taking this sport seriously.
The reality is, the pursuit of any goal is typically far more frustrating than it is delightful. The end result is almost never guaranteed, and for every Olympian there are probably 100 if not 1,000 other athletes who wanted to make it just as badly, and maybe even tried just as hard, but who never ended up making it. I know this, and I'm not that deterred by this particular failure. I was the lucky girl to finish 3rd in the 2012 USAW Nationals because of another girl's misfortune (she also bombed out in the snatch), and now I'm the one to bomb out. Someone else got the shiny medal this time. But I was still in the arena, striving to the best of my ability, and to me that is everything.
Well, almost everything. I've seldom felt as loved as I have in the past 24 hours. I have more new friends, more newfound faith in humanity, and a much deeper love for quite a few people as a result of this failure. I finally understand that "fans" want everyone to succeed. They don't do the math. They want us all to succeed even though only one can be the winner. And when we fail, while they're happy for the victor, they still love the losers and want to see them succeed at some point in the future. My parents and grandparents were able to be in the audience - this was the first time they've ever seen a weightlifting competition - and they still thought it was really cool, especially because I didn't drop the bar on my head. My coaches did an incredible job as they always do, and we learned a few things to apply to the next big competition. It looks like I may still have an opportunity to benefit from the incredible resources at the Olympic Training Center, and I'll most likely have another shot at a World Team, I'll just have to wait until next year. I also received some of the most thoughtful emails and cards from people in our Arena Ready community, and it helped to remind me that it isn't even mostly about lifting all the weights.
I'm as committed as ever, but this weekend my focus shifted from a very narrow goal to a much less specific one - to become the very best weightlifter I can be, and to let the chips fall where they may. I've also decided to publicly share a lot more details of my training, nutrition and journey in general because it seems like maybe I can help a few of the tall girls out there who think our height is a disadvantage. And maybe I can even help a few short girls and guy or two along the way. You can follow me on Twitter @sarahhopping1 or Instagram at @sarahhopping. I'm planning to do my best to post some highlights, lowlights, and if I have any, insights. This is to thank a community that has done so much for me - I'm hoping that exposing more of my highs and lows will help you to become better weightlifters, or maybe even enter your own arenas.
Finally, this post would be lacking something if I didn't mention how awesome the weekend was in every way except for my performance. USA Weightlifting ran the meet incredibly smoothly despite accommodating twice as many participants as last year. The event organizers did a great job in selecting and setting up the event venue, and we even got upgraded to an enourmous suite with a full kitchen which was an incredible blessing. Brickwall CrossFit welcomed all of the athletes to take over their gym as a training hall for the whole weekend, and their gorgeous facility provided all that we needed and more. Coach Hillary competed awesome, as did our friends Jes, Jenny, D'Angelo, Sarabeth, John, and many others. We saw several American Records fall, and some really intense battles fought. And Rob was my rock, as always, encouraging me through the months of hangriness, the days of debilitating doubt and fear, the weeks of injury and pain, and the crushing stress of trying to do something I wasn't quite ready to do. It's rare that everything leading up to an event is perfect, perhaps that's why I had to go and mess it up!
A final thank you for all of your thoughts, wishes, encouragement, prayers and love. I couldn't do this without you.
