I competed in the Hassle Free Invitational on March 9th, and was able to snatch 89kg and clean and jerk 119kg for a 208 kg total as a 75kg lifter. I set several PRs in the competition - most notably, a competition snatch PR, a lifetime squat clean PR (I've power cleaned 120kg, so I'm nearly there), a lifetime jerk PR and jerk attempt PR, and a first-ever fail behind on snatch at 92kg (which would have been a lifetime PR, and enough to qualify me for the Pan Am team). It was a pretty incredible day, and I felt honored to work with Coach Smalcerz, Coach Doherty, and my very own Robbie Star. I tied for second in my weight class in terms of total, but finished 3rd overall because I outweighed my competitor by .2kg. To give a sense of the caliber of this competition, the winner broke the American Records in Snatch, Clean & Jerk, and Total. 2nd place is ranked 2nd in the country in our weight class, and my numbers broke the PWA clean & jerk and total records.
The competition felt like the beginning of a dream come true. My Arena Ready family was out in full force, I felt the love from my brand new Hassle Free family, and a few other close friends and family were in attendance and watching online as well. When they announced us at the beginning of the competition, the cheers brought me to tears. I managed to cut weight successfully, trust the process, and feel strong on the platform even though I'd been nearly passing out in practice due to hunger for the past two weeks. I was extremely proud of the way I competed.
My total was just short of what I needed to make the Pan Am team, so I was able to shift my focus to Nationals in July. This time frame also allowed me to participate in three of the CrossFit Open workouts, which really made my day. I was lifting great, and CrossFitting surprisingly well (which makes me even more excited to go back to CrossFitting when that time comes). I did experience a slight back injury during my first workout after the competition, but that resolved pretty quickly, and I was building huge weightlifting castles in my mind.
Then, a consistently tight right quad got my attention and I went in to see the fantastic Dr. Rabbetz. Much to my surprise, he diagnosed me with a femoral stress fracture. Just like that I was out. O. U. T. out. Not allowed to do anything that flexed my quad. On crutches. Outlook unsure. Recovery could take four weeks. Or years.
Initially I was totally optimistic and unphased. I did the math and knew I still had time to recover and come back to train for Nationals. I was glad I hadn't qualified for Pan Am's (reminiscent of how glad I ended up being I didn't qualify for the CrossFit Games in 2013 due to a partially torn rotator cuff I'd similarly ignored leading up to Regionals). As my time on crutches dragged on, it was hard for my heart to maintain its game face. I started doubting myself, my ambition, my age, pretty much everything. I started daydreaming about going back to CrossFit early, and giving up.
I realized, as usual, that giving up forms the basis of my only guarantee. The reason talented athletes don't reach their potential sometimes is because the going gets tough and they quit. They can't see the other side. It often has nothing to do with their potential. Everyone gets hurt. Training is always hard. But if you give up you're done.
So, I tried not to give up. I did what I could to heal fast. I actually didn't flex my quad. I used my crutches (for the most part). I also was careful to maintain my new weight so I wouldn't have to cut again when the time came. I visualized the snatch like crazy - I watched videos, I talked Rob's ear off, I coached, I tried to figure out where my technique differs from what everyone is trying to get me to do. I figured it out in my mind.
Now, I'm back on the platform. I've lifted 6 days in a row, and I'm getting close enough to pre-injury numbers that I'm a little less depressed. The first time I tried to jerk 95kg this week I nearly crumbled. It felt SO heavy. And IMPOSSIBLE. But today I jerked 102kg and stopped to make sure I didn't overdo it. I've snatched 80kg and had a few good attempts at 85kg. I'm not where I'd like to be right now, but I'm still trying. I haven't given up, and I'm even more grateful that this is one of the things I get to look forward to in my day.
Outlook uncertain. But I'm not giving up! I'm planning to compete at the PWA Championships this weekend, and am hoping to snatch well. Nationals are mid-July, and that remains my primary focus at the moment!
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